- "you allowed yourself to be taken advantage of"
- "adolescents don't rape adults"
- " you never gave consent, but you stopped saying no"
Of course I stopped saying no. That rapist held me face down with all of his weight on me. He was over 6' and 200+ lbs! Much bigger than me. To even suggest that a woman is at fault simply because she was too overpowered to fight back???
But that's how little sexual assault is taken seriously especially when the rapists are under 18. In the age of internet, the victim is raped twice. Perhaps even thrice. Once by the attacker, again by the photo sharing social media and lastly by the "justice" system. It's the victim who suffers not only the loss of dignity, but also intense scrutiny and humiliation.
I refuse to call it the justice system because there is no justice for rape victims. Any accusation of the rapist turns into a character assassination of the victim. Anger is always directed at the victim. She's a whore. She was asking for it. Look at the clothes she was wearing. She shouldn't have drunk herself stupid. She didn't fight hard enough. She allowed herself to be taken advantage of. She shouldn't have put herself in that position.
Why does it even matter?
Each of those statements above excuses the rapist; as if he was entitled to violate her body, and it's up to the woman to defend herself from it. Is it any wonder, then, why most rapes go unreported? Who wants the stress of a trial when the victim is going to be put on the stand to have her sexual history analyzed and her character torn apart? Why are there always more witnesses willing to stand up for the rapist and vilify the victim than stand up for what the real issue is; that a woman's body, mind and spirit has been violated?
Second simple answer: It's never about women's rights; not even for their own bodies. Laws were designed to protect the elite, i.e. white males regardless of age. It's that high sense of entitlement simply because one was born with fairer skin and an extra appendage.
The current "Insert Girl's Name Here" Laws supposedly are written to protect juvenile girls from sexual assault. Need I remind you of:
The most current cases, that of Audrie Pott and Rehtaeh Parsons, are by far the most disturbing. These two young girls took their own lives after a group of guys (who were regarded as "friends") violated their every essence and photo-documented & circulated it among their peers. What I find most appalling is that each case was not immediately pursued by its local authorities. It was yet another case of "boys will be boys and the girls were just asking for it." Each victim in her final moments of life were not only sexually violated but psychologically tortured. No one stood up for them. Instead, their peers stood by gawking and laughing about the posted photos.
While the social media is relatively new, the act of publicly shaming a female has always existed. We've all heard the rumors about "the girl who puts out" or "------ is a slut" written on bathroom stalls (male and female alike). Meanwhile, the guy gets a pat on the back and high-fives among his peers. This mentality has existed for eons. Only now, with pictures and a wider audience, the public shaming becomes global. This is a problem that needs to be addressed.
But this isn't about the public shaming. It's not THE issue. The issue is this mentality that women are there for men's taking; the high sense of sexual entitlement that men believe they have. Men believe it because the legal system promotes it. Women are too afraid to report rapes because of the stress and fear of ridicule. Charges are never pursued. Charges are reversed and the woman is held accountable for her attack. If a case does go to trial, it's the victim whose character is smeared and her sexual history questioned; and this doesn't even guarantee a guilty verdict against the rapist(s).
For things to change, society has to get to the root of the problem. It's the male sex both young and old. It's the patriarchal mentality. But as history has shown, there will be a brief public outcry before things settle down and more cases like these will continue (without real justice).
The current "Insert Girl's Name Here" Laws supposedly are written to protect juvenile girls from sexual assault. Need I remind you of:
- The DeAnza Baseball team who were NEVER charged with the 2007 gang rape of a teenage girl.
- The Haidl gang rape of a passed out 16 year old assaulted with a pool cue. It took 3 years and TWO trials to bring those boys to justice (one who's dad was a sheriff deputy) and the public sided with the boys.
- Steubenville Case:It took the release of a video and public outrage to get authorities to take the case; otherwise, this would've stayed swept under the rug.
The most current cases, that of Audrie Pott and Rehtaeh Parsons, are by far the most disturbing. These two young girls took their own lives after a group of guys (who were regarded as "friends") violated their every essence and photo-documented & circulated it among their peers. What I find most appalling is that each case was not immediately pursued by its local authorities. It was yet another case of "boys will be boys and the girls were just asking for it." Each victim in her final moments of life were not only sexually violated but psychologically tortured. No one stood up for them. Instead, their peers stood by gawking and laughing about the posted photos.
While the social media is relatively new, the act of publicly shaming a female has always existed. We've all heard the rumors about "the girl who puts out" or "------ is a slut" written on bathroom stalls (male and female alike). Meanwhile, the guy gets a pat on the back and high-fives among his peers. This mentality has existed for eons. Only now, with pictures and a wider audience, the public shaming becomes global. This is a problem that needs to be addressed.
But this isn't about the public shaming. It's not THE issue. The issue is this mentality that women are there for men's taking; the high sense of sexual entitlement that men believe they have. Men believe it because the legal system promotes it. Women are too afraid to report rapes because of the stress and fear of ridicule. Charges are never pursued. Charges are reversed and the woman is held accountable for her attack. If a case does go to trial, it's the victim whose character is smeared and her sexual history questioned; and this doesn't even guarantee a guilty verdict against the rapist(s).
For things to change, society has to get to the root of the problem. It's the male sex both young and old. It's the patriarchal mentality. But as history has shown, there will be a brief public outcry before things settle down and more cases like these will continue (without real justice).
REFERENCES:
Audrie Pott
Rehtaeh Parsons
Haidl Case
Steubenville Case
DeAnza Case