It is not a surprise to see that you continue to search your name and land on my blog. I've often contemplated discontinuing this blog and/or deleting the posts about you. However, I've decided to keep it running because there are other posts of interests that are often read.
Then I thought about a conversation I had with a friend regarding unrequited love. "The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference." I truly believe we loved each other when we were together. When our relationship ended, I still loved you in the years that followed. I don't know how it happened or when. But when I had considered any feelings I may have for you, I realized that I have none. I truly no longer care for you. I am now just indifferent when it comes to you.
I do know what brought me to that point. It was the understanding that I have grown stronger and that if you would ever come back into my life, even as a friend, it would have weaken me. Nor would I be where I am today had it not been for your absence. I still would have completed my Master's Degree, but I think you would have continued to be unsupportive and highly critical of my decision to remain in education. I wouldn't have risen to the rank of an Academic Director and Teacher Trainer. And I probably would not have purchased my own house. I've gone above and beyond; I've certainly surpassed you, Demian. What have you accomplished? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
And that probably bothered you. You somehow believed that I was undeserving of redemption; undeserving of personal success. It is why you disclosed parts of my life to others who had no business knowing. And with that disclosure, you embellished it to make yourself look better. You allowed them to harass me. You allowed them to threaten me. But the worst thing is is that you betrayed my trust.
And I want people to know it. I'm assuming you and Heifer are no longer together. I have not had any contact from her (finally), nor has she stalked me, nor has she come snooping around my blog. The only hits of a "Demian Griffitts" search is from a person in San Bruno. It's you.
I'm sure you'll meet another person. And it is my wish that when she wants to know more about you, she will naturally Google your name. That's what people do these days (though I don't). Her search of your name will bring you here because a search of your name brings my blog to the top of the list. I want her to see that you have a pattern of behavior. You bad mouth all your exes. You make yourself the victim in a failed relationship. But most of all, I want them to know that you are both abusive and a spousal rapist. After all, it was that rape on the night of April 10, 2011 when our relationship was on the decline. Yes, Demian, you are a rapist. And I've finally accepted that after having denied it despite my therapist, friends and family telling me that you raped me that night. You not only raped me, but you continued to violate me with the harassment that followed.
Bueno, ni modo. It is what it is. I don't hate you. I really don't. I just don't care about you. You are undeserving of any of my feelings. When asked recently if I'd ever take you back, I just said, "no." I was hoping that you'd one day apologize for your behavior, but I've accepted that that day will never come. And it's okay. I'm happy where I am today.