I received a text from someone who needed to vent. I will refer to her as "Jean". I tend to look at things very objectively and always withhold judgment. It's really tough to open your soul to others, so I always listen with an open mind and open heart.
Jean disclosed that she suffers from a mental illness; specifically an anxiety disorder. It wasn't her intention to let others know, but I guess she had been pressured to admit it, and was subsequently criticized for it. She also felt embarrassed. Upon reading her text, I shed some tears because I know exactly what she is going through. I told her that I, too, have an anxiety disorder related to PTSD. I don't think she knew, but I informed her that I've been in treatment for the past 3 years.
Although I think more people are becoming educated on the types of mental illnesses and are more accepting of those who suffer, there's still this stigma with having a mental illness. What's most important for Jean and anyone else who is suffering an anxiety disorder is to seek out treatment and the support of others. One thing I told Jean is that you learn who your real friends are and those who care about you. Having a strong support network makes the biggest difference in living with an anxiety disorder. My parents and brother have always been supportive. All of my friends are aware that I suffer from PTSD and even help me through a panic attack (should I have one).
As you go through treatment, the attacks become less frequent. I'll have some minor ones every few months, but it's been a long time since I've had a full blown panic attack. What has helped?
Support Network - This is by far the most important. If people have seen you at your worst moments and are still there for you, that's a sign that they truly care. Let them know what you're going through. They will understand and they will help; usually by lending an ear, helping you breathe, allowing you to vent without taking it personally.
Therapy - I have been in therapy the past 3 years. It started with weekly visits, but as I've learned the tools to live with PTSD, my visits have decreased to only one session a month. My therapist provided me with breathing techniques to help calm myself. There's even breathing to help you fall asleep which was quite useful for me since anxiety can also link to sleeping problems. Don't expect to get advice though. That's not what therapy is. A therapist helps you to identify certain patterns of behavior and/or events in your life. They also help you gain perspective and insight about yourself. They may give you tools to help you understand yourself better and make better decisions, but ultimately it is you who has to help yourself.
Medication - They help. For the longest time I was against it. I was of the opinion that life problems are still going to happen whether or not I'm on medication. But then my therapist said that a diabetic will always be diabetic, but they still need to take their insulin. Good point. So I went on Fluoxetine. It helped a lot. PMS was suddenly a thing of the past, too. Two birds, one stone. I still continue to take it in low doses, but it's definitely alleviated anxious feelings.
Therapy Dog - It sounds funny, but having a dog really does help. Daisy is always with me and most of the time she makes me laugh. She rarely barks and when I have an attack, she gives her full attention. I love how she puts her little paw on my hand as if to say, "you're okay."
Take care of yourself: Sounds easy, right? But if you really think about it, we get so busy putting our time and effort into our jobs, families, friends that we forget about ourselves. This is especially hard for people who aren't selfish. Well, there are times when you need to put yourself first. Consider your own health and how outside factors affect them. Try to eliminate stressors, but if that isn't possible, devote at least 30 minutes a day to meditate and clear your thoughts. A little bit of time for yourself does go a long way.
Avoid those spirit crushers: There will always be toxic people in your life. They can be people at work. They may even be family members. What you have to remember is that the only people who matter, whose opinions you value are those in your support network. Do not let others try to get to you. Act as though you don't care. Eventually you really will feel indifference with those spirit crushers.
Jean, you will continue to persevere. Focus on the goals you've accomplished. Never let toxic people bring you down. If they see you at your worse and judge you for it, so what! You're human. They aren't any better and they make mistakes, too. Remember there are those who love you unconditionally.