Life with PTSD

I have PTSD. No one seems to understand what it is except that it happens to those who are/were in the military. You don’t have to go overseas, shoot and be shot at, to witness the horrors of war, nor to constantly be alert and under attack. No; the war can be at home. Sometimes even from within one’s self.

I wonder if there will ever be an end to my PTSD. Will I have to live with this for the rest of my life? What can I do to alleviate the pain that I feel no one understands. I don’t know what has kept me from writing all the thoughts I have in my head. There are so many that during some moments, I feel as if I’m going to fall apart.

For the past 5 years, I've been moving without actual motion; more so the past year and a half. However, I'm finally ready to move forward without having to look in a rearview mirror. This is what this blog is about; moving forward. My best therapy has always been my writing, but I never had an audience. I don't expect many people to read this, but to know it's out there, to be able to connect to others whether to help them understand me or themselves, my messages are out there. Eventually, I will publish; that is my goal. 

PTSD comes with a history of horror stories; I have them...more specifically these instances:

1. a sexual assault in 2007 and the subsequent consequences that followed.
2. the experience of having your name dragged through the mud on a very public platform.
3. a harsh learning experience about how "justice" really works

One thing I want to make clear; I'm not a victim but a survivor; one who needs the continued support and love of family and friends (both old and new).